Custody Award - Acceptions?

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My son is now 12 and was recently placed by him mother into reformitory school due to some of the problems she has been having with him. (They both reside in Japan)

Seeing that he is no longer living with his mother, I'm curious if anyone has had any similar experiences, or if anyone would know if it might improve my chances to winning custody of my son.

Any opinions would be gladly accepted.

~Mikk

Posted By:
Mikk
17/02/2005
Order:
Andrew (51 posts)
17/02/2005 09:20:56
re: Custody Award - Acceptions?   profile
Wow - I would have thought since you are surely next-of-kin, your chances of gaining custody would increase dramatically, particularly since your son's mother is struggling to the point she has shipped him out to a reformitory school! Of course, unfortunately, we are talking about Japan here, so I'm guessing this is actually NOT the case - a gaijin parent living outside of Japan is a complete persona-non-grata in REAL TERMS of the Japanese law.

However, on a positive note, I would do the following:-

- contact the family court that is in your son's mother's ward (either via yourself, or through a lawyer) and put forward your case. Apparently (note saracasm), family courts are there to protect children and their well-being so they seem like the first point of contact.

Good luck and let us know how you get on!
Mikk (2 posts)
17/02/2005 23:39:38
re: Custody Award - Acceptions?   profile
You would think so... but I recently learned that even if his mother were to die, custody would be awarded to her immediate family rather than to his biological father. Zannen nagara ;-)

I've been in touch with the reform school, but they said they couldn't give me any information without his mothers permission. Today when I called they told me the director was unavailable as "negotiation preparations where being made" with my ex-wife. (they hadn't gotten her permission yet)

Filing for custody in family court seems a dismal hope. At this point, I'm just hoping to be able to send him a letter at the school without his mothers censorship to let him know he's loved, missed, and always welcome to live with us (he has three brothers and a sister), as he will.

How a mother would send her child to a reform school rather than to a parent that would love and nuture him is beyond me, but we do what and when we can, right?

Getting a response from Japanese attorneys after the initial information is sent would be a relief. LOL

Despondently,

~Mikk
Andrew (51 posts)
19/02/2005 13:56:37
re: Custody Award - Acceptions?   profile
How a mother would send her child to a reform school rather than to a parent that would love and nuture him is beyond me, but we do what and when we can, right?

Common sense is a killer - if I start applying that to the way the Japanese deal with divorce, I only get mad! :-)

At least you have the contact details of the school - that is something.

Another positive note: this is the age of the internet. Old rules about the non-custodial parent disappearing into obscurity for the sake of the custodial parent and the "wa" no longer apply. A generation of children curious as to where their other biological parent is now have an easy means to find them (provided you leave enough evidence on the web as to who you are!). Register a domain name called "Iam(firstname,surname)sdad.com or whatever, and keep re-newing it (doesn't cost much at all) - there's many ways to get the attention of them on the internet - you just need them to be curious - that's all.

I think from a child's perspective, to know that both parents love you is a whole lot more reassuring for them than simply to hear bad stories about a parent they never know about.

Edited 19/02/2005 13:59:20
japancustodyhelp (2 posts)
04/05/2005 02:23:25
re: Custody Award - Acceptions?   profile
Please keep us posted as to how this works out.

I have this theory, unproven as yet, that the non-custodial parent can more reliably know the location of and visit his or her child if the child is in juvenile detention than if the child is with a non-cooperating custodial parent. It would be interesting to be able to prove it.

japancustodyhelp@hotmail.com


FRIJ recommends you also visit crn japan, who are fighting international abduction to Japan and working to assure children in Japan of meaningful contact with both parents regardless of marital status