I was engaged to a Japanese national who was working in London, UK and we were planning on getting married. Her mom was not too happy with her marrying a gaijin. When she was 20 weeks pregnant, we separated because I wronged her (not infidelity or abuse) (although she did wrong me but to lesser degree) and she left for Japan. We spent time over email to try to resolve our issues, although my pleas to try to resolve this face to face (I was willing to travel to Japan to see her) was refused. We have not been able to resolve these differences as email is just not a great medium for something as serious as this.
When she gave birth (I pleaded with her to let me attend the birth but she refused) and our baby daughter is now 20 days old, I had no right to helping chose her name nor visitation rights or even be able to web cam to see her.
I know in future as my little daughter grows up, I will be denied visitation or verbal rights to speak to her. My ex-fiancee is afraid of her mom and her mom has forbidden all contact with me.
I pleaded with her to let children come first and separate our relationship issues from the baby. Regardless of who was right or wrong or even if we do not resolve our relationship issues, I felt that a child should be given access to both parents and a father should not be denied visitation rights.
My ex-fiancee's mom has already taken on my daughter as her own and will not allow her to go anywhere.
I just felt that whatever wrongs I have made in the relationship, a father should have the right to visit his own flesh and blood on moral and just simple decency sake. A child should grow up knowing both parents, so the articles on Parental Alienation Syndrome resonates with me.
I have been paying her ￡3,000 a month for the past year and will continue to pay this amount for the rest of my life and beyond, should anything happen to me (pension/investments/savings/insurance) as I do not want my daughter to be deprived of anything.
My ex-fiancee says that I am not fit to be a father to my daughter but I felt that she has no right to make that judgment as she has done many things in the past (drugs etc) to make that judgment.
I hope someone neutral in this messageboard can tell me I am not unreasonable in asking for just visitation rights? I pine and yearn for my little one so much as it just kills me when I know she will grow up without knowing me and I fear my ex-fiancee will just disappear on me as I know she will.
|
